Giving thanks...

We had a great Thanksgiving break.  We stayed in town, played with friends and just spent a lot of time together as a family.  It couldn't have been better.  Sometimes there is nothing better than just having no plans and hanging out together.

One day this week, the kids made a thankful tree.  It was a lot of fun to do, and really neat to hear them talk about the things they are thankful for.  Here is picture of our tree...

And here's a list of what made it onto the tree:
Daddy, Mommy, Emma, Liam, Papa, Nana, Aunt Cindy, Big Bill, Poppy, Georgia, Hershey, Avery, Crawford, toys, our house, God, Jesus, dinosaurs, family, frogs & grasshoppers, Caitlin, Mama,  Aunt Rachel & Uncle Austin and heaven.

The Stewart Family enjoyed our usual Thanksgiving get-together the Saturday before thanksgiving.  Sadly, I wasn't able to go, but Brad, Dad and the kids had a great time.  And since we always do thanksgiving the saturday before, it always leaves just the 5 of us on thanksgiving day.  But this year, some great friends invited us to come to their Thanksgiving get-together.  It was a great day!!! And another reminder that we are blessed with some amazing friends.  Here are all the kids riding around on the boat after lunch...

We ended the break by watching a lot of college football, eating a lot of s'mores, going to the movies, decorating for Christmas and going to get our Christmas tree.  It was a great break.  One I am very thankful for.  It's always nice to slow down, spend time with friends and family and mostly to spend time remembering all of the many things we have to be thankful for.  Hoping your Thanksgiving was full of joy, as well!

Raffle Raffle Raffle!!

So, as I'm sure you know, there is a large cost that goes along with adoption.  Right now, we are in the process of trying to raise the $5000 that we need to send off our Dossier (crossing our fingers that we can do this before Christmas).  So, to help with that we are selling raffle tickets for a basket full of amazing gift certificates that is worth over $250.  All of these businesses graciously donated these gift certificates to us to help us raise funds....

Tickets are $5.  We will be drawing the winner on December 1st.  And here is what the basket includes:

$25 Harvest Moon

$25 Austin's

$20 Roosters

$25 Pearly's

$40 House of China II

$25 Loco's

$25 Carroll's Sausage

$20 Maggie Moo's

$30 Love Letters

DJ's Economy Car Wash

Please let us know if you'd like to purchase tickets!

Moving along...

So, I think it's official that I'm not very good at updating this blog.  I think about it often, but I rarely sit down to do it...and I have a really hard time coming up with what to say.  So, I thought I'd just give an update of where we are in the adoption process...

Right now we are finishing up our homestudy.  It probably would be done already, but after waiting for the FBI to run our fingerprints for 10 weeks, we found out yesterday that they had stopped  the process because they don't accept personal checks.  Of course, no one called us to let us know this.   And I've been anxiously going to the mailbox for the past 4 weeks.  Needless to say, this was very frustrating to find out.  It's the only piece of paper holding up our homestudy.  And we can't move on to the next step without a complete home study.  So, after a good cry yesterday....we've now come to find out that there is a faster and more efficient (but also much more expensive way) to get our prints run.  So, we're in the process of doing that now, and will hopefully be done with our homestudy in the next couple of weeks.  YAY!!!  And then we'll move onto our Dossier.

In our last meeting with our caseworker, she asked me what I thought would be the most stressful part of this whole adoption and I said it would be that there is so much I don't have control over.  I can't control how slow the mail is, how long is takes for someone to respond to me, how so many of these organizations look at us as just another number....how you can wait 10 weeks to find out something was "stopped" 5 weeks earlier but no one called to let you know.  So, there has been a lot of waiting and letting go and trusting that even something like the FBI not running your prints in the timeframe you thought they would is all part of God's sovereign plan.  His timing is not my own.  He knows exactly when we need to have things happen.  I'm working on remembering that more often.

We've also been doing some fundraising to help offset the cost of the adoption.  About two weeks ago, we had a Silent Auction and a Yard Sale.  On Friday night, we had a Silent Auction with numerous items from local businesses that were donated to us.  I am still in awe of the people and businesses that donated these items to us so generously.  It was a really fun night, and some friends went home with some great items:)  Here is a pic of the Silent auction before the night started...

We also had a Preview Yard Sale on Friday night (where everything was double price) and a regular Yard Sale on Saturday.  Again, we had so many people donate items for us to sale.  I was overwhelmed by the generosity of people...many who barely know us or had never even met us before.
Here are a few pics of  "before" the Yard Sale...

It was all a huge success!!

I also meant the whole night to take a picture of the amazing friends that helped us do all of this.  I could never thank them enough for everything they did to help make this night and day possible.  We could never have done this without them.  It's just another reminder of how we aren't going through this alone. Not only do we have a Heavenly Father who is with us every step of the way, we have been blessed with amazing friends who listen to me cry, call to check on me, come over before the sun has even come up to help haggle with "yard sale folk" and mostly who just walk alongside us in this process.  I hope you know who you are and how very thankful I am for each of you!!

Thankful...

   It's been almost 3 years since my Mom passed away.  There isn't a single day that goes by that I don't think of her.  Sometimes it's the smallest things, like spending time with my own daughter that remind me of my Mom.  Lately, it's been questions asked by Liam.  He was only 18 months old when she passed away.  I'd like to think that he remembers her, but I'm not sure if he does.  He always wants to know where she is and what I think she's doing in  heaven.  I wish more than anything that she'd been here longer, and that my kids had more memories of her.
   And as we go down this adoption journey, it's hard not to think of her constantly.  I wish she were here to share this with me.  It's crazy how many times I've just wanted to pick up the phone to ask her a quick question or to just tell her my fears and excitement as we go through this process.  There is just nothing that will ever compare to your relationship with your Mom.
   I sit here and wonder what went through her mind as she waited to bring me home.  Was she as nervous as I am?  Was she as excited as I am?  I would love for her to be here when we bring our child home.  But I'm so thankful for the years we had together and that God chose her to be my mom.  I am so incredibly blessed.
  And as I sit here and think about the amazing relationship I had with my Mom, I think about the child that is waiting for us.  The child that God has hand-picked for our family.  The child that I will get to love.  This child that is right now mother-less and father-less will soon be home with us.  He or she will be a part of this wonderful family that God has blessed me with.  I'm still fairly terrified, but I can't wait!

Quote of the week...

I got up to work out early about a week ago, before Emma left for school.  We only live 2 doors down from Emma's school, and she walks to school with 4 other little girls who live on our alley.

There are 4 Moms who take turns walking the girls to school.  That day it was Mandy's turn, and this is the conversation she told me about later that day. (One more thing to note- the work out required me to sprint down the alley a few times, and the garbage truck was picking up trash at the same time).
Anna: Emma, I sure hope the garbage truck doesn't scoop up your Mommy.
Mandy: Well, Emma's mommy doesn't look like trash and she doesn't smell like trash.  So, I think she'll be OK.
Emma: Well, you haven't smelled my mommy after she works out!!

Free Lemonade!!

Emma and Liam couldn't be more excited about having a new sibling.  They talk about it all of the time, and love to tell people...which can get some funny responses from people (especially when they decide to tell the cashier at Publix).  But it makes my heart smile every time to know that they are so excited.

They both have really wanted to help with the fundraising, so on Saturday we had a Lemonade Stand.  It was a lot of fun, and lots of friends stopped by and even helped.  I did have a hard time reminding them that is wasn't free lemonade.  They'd both stand on the curb and yell, "Free Lemonade!"  Not quite sure how that started.   But it was a huge success...mostly because it allowed them to feel even more a part of bringing their new brother or sister home!

As for where we are in the adoption process, we're right in the middle of our Home Study.  We've been fingerprinted twice, TB tested, gone for blood work, had physicals, visited numerous local government offices and overall, learned where a lot of things are that I had no idea existed before all this.  So, mostly now we've sent a lot of stuff in and have to wait for them to be filled out and sent back to us.

I've been told by a lot of people that a lot of the adoption process is waiting.  I don't know about y'all, but I am not always good at waiting.  I wish I could say I was a person that waits patiently for things, but I often am not.  So, this whole process is definitely teaching me (even more than I already knew) that God's timing is not my own.  I know it seems silly to say that how long something takes to get mailed back to us is under God's control, but I don't think it's silly at all.  I know His plans are sovereign.  I know He already knows exactly when this child will come home to us and all of the steps in between.  So, I'm trying my best to trust His timing and to wait patiently.

A new journey

    I've known my entire life that I am adopted.  I can't remember ever not knowing.  My parents talked to me about it often, and I had no doubt that I was loved beyond measure by my parents.  My mom wasn't able to have children, and she struggled for years before she and my dad decided to adopt.  She often told me stories about praying for me before I was even born and about how blessed she and my dad felt that God had given me to them.

     When Brad and I got married, we knew we wanted 2 kids.  Two kids, and that would be it.  I'm not really sure why we decided that, but we'd always been on the same page about it...until last summer.  Something started to stir in my heart.  All of a sudden I felt this gentle nudge telling me that we were to have a 3rd child.  Needless to say, Brad had not had that nudge yet...so nothing much happened.  We talked about it a lot, but he just wasn't there.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I got a second nudge that our 3rd child should come through adoption.  I'm not sure why.  Even though I'm adopted, I'd never really thought much about adopting.  I know that might sound weird but I hadn't.  I'd seen several friends adopt, and it was such a blessing to watch but I just never felt that calling.  Well, until last summer.

    Well, months went by and nothing really happened.  Brad slowly began to warm up to the idea of a 3rd child after a lot of prayer and very wise counsel (no- i wasn't the wise counsel:).  And in early February we found out I was pregnant.  But there was little time to get excited, because I was told almost immediately that I would miscarry.  After a long and confusing month, I found out that I actually had an ectopic pregnancy.  It was incredibly heartbreaking and a long hard 4 months followed.

    When everything was over with the pregnancy, I was so confused.  I couldn't figure out what God was trying to tell me.  Did he want us to have another baby?  Were we listening to Him? Were we truly seeking His will?  And that's when I received an email about adopting a "Waiting Child" from China.  (These waiting children are older children that have special needs.)  All of a sudden, I heard a voice say, "This is it.  This is what I have been preparing you for."  I brought it up to Brad not knowing what his response would be and he said, "Yeah.  I'm really interested in that.  What are the next steps?"

    I just about fell out of my chair.  I knew immediately that this was what God wanted us to do.  For a year, Brad and I had struggled to figure out what God wanted for our family and we just couldn't seem to get on the same page.  And all of a sudden, we were on exactly the same page!

    Of course, we were both still terrified....and it took a few more months of praying, seeking advice from friends who've adopted and more prayer...but I'm excited to say....

    We are officially adopting an older special needs child from China.  We are still very early in the process and about to start our home study.  We have requested a child that is 0-3...boy or girl.  The whole process will probably take about a year.

    We are excited. We are nervous. But we have no doubt that God is in complete control of this adoption.  It is expensive.  To be honest, that part still scares me.  But I'm praying for a peace that passes all understanding and that I can truly let go of it all and give it to the only one who can truly provide for all of our needs.

    So, a new journey has begun for our family.  Emma and Liam are so excited they can hardly stand it.  And we can't wait to meet this child that God has picked for our family.  We know that there are going to peaks and valleys through this process.  We know it won't always be easy, but we also know that we have a loving God who will never leave us or forsake us.

   I plan on trying to keep everyone updated through our blog.  So, please keep coming back and reading.  And thank you for walking alongside us as we start this journey.

    

A little girl with a big heart!

     Emma decided a couple of months ago that she wanted to do "Locks of Love".  She heard about a friend that was doing it, and she decided that she wanted to do it too.  Brad's aunt came to stay with us in April and she had just gone through chemo, so she had a few wigs with her while she was here.  Emma thought they were so cool.  So, this made her even more excited that she would be helping someone just like Aunt Cindy.
     Emma has never really had her hair cut...only trimmed.  So, it's been long all of her life.  I've loved braiding it, putting it in piggy tails and pony tails.  It's really been long enough to cut for about a month now, but I've had a hard time actually letting her do it.  She's begged me almost every day to measure it, so she could go get it cut.  I'm not sure why I've had such a hard time letting her do it.  I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to hold onto.  I know it's hair, and it will grow back.  Maybe it's that she's getting bigger and making big girl decisions that I'm not ready for.  I'm not really sure.
     But she has been so excited about doing it, so on Friday it was just time.  We went and she had 8 inches cut off for Pantene's Beautiful Lengths.  We got it all packaged up tonight, and it's ready to be mailed tomorrow.

 Before...so excited!

 1st cut.

 After.

    I have to admit that I shed a tear when it was cut.  Not just because I love her hair, but because of the self-less choice she was making.  It never once bothered her that she was cutting off all of her hair.  She was beaming the entire time we were there.  I think it all hit me that she's growing up, and growing into this amazing little girl that puts others above herself.  She truly does have such a servant's heart. I am one proud mama!

More Milestones...

Liam started Pre-K last week.  Somehow it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would.  Although, the thought of him going to Kindergarten next year is hard for me to bear.  This little boy holds my heart like none other.  I often think of him as still being so little, but he's not.  Yes, he's only 4...but somehow that feels so old sometimes. 

He was pretty excited the first day of school, although that excitement as faded some.  The second day of school after breakfast I said, "Ok.  Let's get dressed for school. " and he said, "School? Do I do that every day?"  And yesterday he said, "I don't want to go to school.  I never get to stay home to just be with you, Mommy."  Melts my heart.

 I pray that I slow down every single day and cherish these moments.  The last few years have gone by so quickly.  I know I don't always sit down and enjoy my kids as much as I need to.  It's so easy to get caught up in the "everyday" and schedules.  But I don't want to miss one sweet hug or kiss or cute story that my kids tell me.  I mostly just want to hold them in my arms and keep them little forever somehow.

Last week was also my Dad's birthday (think he loves his grandkids a little?)  I'm not sure I could ever put into words how much my Dad means to me.  I am so incredibly thankful that God chose him to be my father.  He is such a wonderful example of who our Heavenly Father is.  His unconditional love and support are such an amazing blessing to me and my family.  He is always giving of himself and putting everyone else's needs before his own.  He is a man who loves the Lord and everyone around him.  And he is an amazing father.  Happy Birthday, Dad!

On last Liam quote of the day:

(We were all outside and Liam was left inside alone.  He walked outside and said), "Since I'm the only one inside, I guess I'm in charge of everything in here now!"

The end of summer...or at least the beginning of school

Emma started 1st grade on Monday.  I don't know which is harder to believe...that Emma is in 1st grade or that school started on August 1st.  She has loved it so far!  

Summer went by way too quickly, but we were able to take some really fun trips and we soaked it up the best we could.

Brad and I were blessed to spend 10 days in Colorado at Frontier Ranch with our high school friends.

We spent time tubing on the lake.

We took a surprise trip to the beach with sweet friends (definitely one of the highlights of the summer).

We had a sleepover at a friend's house that included a lot of fishing and playing. (A great way to have a mini-vacation without going far or spending much money).

We took a family beach trip to Santa Rosa.  We had a great week, and it was made even better because 8 of our high school friends came with us for a few days.

It's really  hard to say goodbye to summer, especially since it's still 100 degrees outside and only August 4th.  But we definitely had some sweet time together as a family and with friends.  We are very blessed!

Planting seeds

    Brad and I have been doing ministry for over 12 years.  We've spent a lot of time hanging out with highschoolers, going to football games, going to lunch, going on trips...just trying to walk alongside our high school friends while they figure out this thing called "life".  And hoping that through our relationship with them, they will come to know our Savior and start a lifelong friendship with Him.
   It can be really difficult at times, because we often watch our high school friends choose the wrong path and make decisions that aren't always the best.  We see a lot of pain, hurt, loneliness and confusion.  And we do our best to let them know that we love them no matter what and so does Christ.
   We've seen hundreds of kids graduate and go off to college.  Some are even married and have kids now. We try our best to stay in contact with them.  It's always so fun to see where their life has taken them.  Some are still searching.  Well, a lot of them are still searching.  But every now and then, we hear from one of them who has fallen deeply in love with Christ.  I had the privilege of getting a letter from one of them recently.
   I've been friends with her since she was a sophomore in high school.  She's always been a great girl, but she has had some bumps in the road as she has grown up.  She just graduated from college in May.  During college she fell in love with Christ and is now seeking to live her life for Him.  It's just so cool to see how God has been working in her life, and that He choose to use me a little a long the way.  It makes spending hours hanging out with friends that are almost half our age now even more worth it....praying that we continue to plant seeds that we will one day see grow.

Philosophy with a 4 year old

Liam has become very philosophical lately.  He has so many questions all day long.  I know this is pretty common for a 4 year old, but some of them are very difficult to answer.  Here are just a few:
-When will we see God face-to-face?
-Why did God make villians?
-Does God decide which babies will be bad?
-Will heaven be just like this world?
-When God comes will He do a magic show?
-If God is with me all of the time, why can't I see him?
-What is Belle (our dog that died) doing now?

And of course some lighthearted questions, such as...
-Can a giant pick up something heavier than a giant?

When Brad and I were on Young Life Staff and we found out we were pregnant, all we could think about was how amazing it was going to be to raise our kids around Young Life...especially taking them to Young Life camps.  Then God changed our plans and sent us back to my hometown...which meant leaving YL Staff.  Thankfully, we have been able to continue doing ministry through YL, but now we are just volunteers.  Our kids know that Friday nights are usually going to be spent at a high school football game or basketball game (or some sort of sport). They know that there will always be highschoolers at our house.  And they know that Mommy and Daddy will be headed to YL club on Mondays to be with our high school friends.  So, not too much as changed between being on YL Staff and serving as a volunteer...except for the amount of time our kids get to spend at YL Camps.

Most YL staff kids get to spend a month of the summer at a YL Camp while their mom or dad is serving there.  Our kids just know that mommy and daddy will be leaving them for 10 days to take our high school friends to camp to hear the Gospel.  But this last weekend...we got to take Emma and Liam with us to camp!!! We took a group of our  high school friends to Sharptop Cove to serve on Work Crew (serving, cleaning, etc.), and Emma and Liam went with us.

It was such a blessing!  I can hardly even put it into words.  They had so much fun running around camp, playing on the playground and they both even hiked to the top of Sharptop Mountain with us.
But the most incredible blessing was having them serve with us.  Emma was amazing!! It meant so much to see her servant's heart all weekend.  She cleaned tables, set tables, vacuumed, anything she could help do.  And Liam did a great job, too.

Young Life has always been a huge part of Brad and mine's lives.  And we want our kids to be a part of that too.  Mostly, we want our kids to know what it means to put God first, to serve and love others and to follow Christ.  I think they both saw that this weekend.

Emma working so hard!

Liam setting tables

On top of Sharptop Mountain

The whole group

Prayers...sort of

Me: (as Liam is outside playing) "What are you yelling about out there?"
Liam: "I just asked God to get the toots out of me."

One proud mama!

Emma is now half-way through Kindergarten, and the tests have begun.  She brought home her first report card a while back.  It was exciting and terrifying all at once.  Thankfully, there are no grades given in K5.  Just S's and E's.  But now, Emma has weekly spelling tests.  She's done a great job.  And I've been very proud of her.  I know this is just the beginning of the next 12 years, but for now I'm one proud mama!

So smart...

So, my kids never answer the television.  What I mean is that when we are watching their shows, i.e. Dora, Mickey Mouse, they never answer any of the questions they are asked.
For example:
Dora: Which tool could we use to save Boots?
Kid at home: A rope.
But my kids have never answered.  Ever.

So, I recently asked Emma why she never answers anything the TV asks her and her response was,
"Mommy, they can't hear me."

LOVE it!

Quotes of the week...

Emma: "Mommy, I think I know why they call it pulled chicken." (said while eating BBQ)
Me: "Why's that?"
Emma: Because the chicken has been in the pool.

Me:"What are you doing in there, Liam?" (as he is jumping from couch to couch)
Liam: "Just my cool tricks."

Emma: "Where are you going, Mommy?"
Me: "To exercise."
Emma: "I thought only jolly people had to exercise."

6!!!

My sweet little girl turned 6 on Friday! I can still remember the days when I was pregnant just waiting for her to get here.  And then the joy when she finally did get here.  Watching her learn and grow....so many precious memories with this little girl, this daughter I have been blessed with!

Emma,
You make me smile every single day.  I am so thankful for you.  I am so glad that YOU are my daughter.  I am so proud of you, and I haved loved watching you grow into the amazing girl that you are.  I can't wait to see all that God has planned for your life.  Happy Birthday!

Emma's 2nd birthday!

 We had a "sleepover" party to celebrate.  Everyone wore PJs, ate pizza, played, watched a movie and had ice cream sundaes.  But no one actually "slept over".  I don't think we're quite ready for that yet.  But it was a great time celebrating Emma with all of her friends.

6 Things I Love about Emma on her 6th Birthday:

1) She loves her Daddy more than anything in this world...and he loves her.

2) She is brave.  She might be shy at times, but there is little she is afraid of.

3) She loves school and her teachers

4) She loves her friends

5) She loves to laugh

6) She makes us smile every single day

Disney!!

" Surprise! We're going to Disney World!!"

 Emma's favorite princess..Ariel.

Yep- we went to Disney World for Christmas!  It was amazing.  We packed so much fun into 5 days!  I can hardly put into words how much fun we had.  Just watching our kids sweet faces light up throughout the trip was priceless and we created memories we all will cherish.

My two favorite quotes for the week were:
"This is the best Christmas ever!" -said multiple times by both kids
"All of our dreams are coming true!"-Liam

What a blessing to get to do this as a family.  Thankful for grandparents who helped make it happen.
Hope your Christmas was as blessed as ours'.  And that you took some time to remember the reason we celebrate.